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| Seeing Through Your Spouse's Eyes: Tips for Marital Bliss
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| Between raising your family and keeping your sanity, it's easy for the needs of a healthy marriage to go unmet. However, there are several different ways you can see things through your spouse's eyes to help keep your marriage on the right track.
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Remove the guesswork.
Most men don't like to talk about what they're thinking. But they hate to guess what you're thinking. Why? Because they can be really bad at it. Many arguments have been started by men misinterpreting nonverbal (or even verbal) language. An easy way to avoid this is to simply say what's on your mind. The hard part is to stop right after that. Just plant the seed. Let your spouse know what you are thinking. Once he has time to mull it over, you'll be able to have a good discussion instead of a bad argument.
Go from "me" time to "we" time.
When your spouse comes home and asks for "me" time, your gut reaction is probably to say "no" because there is too much to do. But if you handle the situation correctly, you should consider giving him the time. It works like this: Before he gets his time alone, take out your family calendar and plan out some time for yourself and himself, and then some time for both of you to spend together. Generally, men are not spontaneous. They like schedules. So if you plan the "me" time in writing, he'll not only have a greater appreciation for the time he has, he'll also recognize the time you need, both alone and apart. And even better, he'll help make it happen.
Think nonverbally.
A recent scientific study showed that women get a biochemical rush from talking through whatever is on their mind, while men do not. This means that your husband would rather internalize things than talk it out. But even though he won't be talking, he still will be saying plenty. Instead of pressing for a conversation, watch his nonverbal communication. Crossed arms and legs mean that he won't be as receptive to new ideas. If his eyes keep looking up and to the left, he's recalling factual info. If they go up and to the right, he's being more creative and might be exaggerating. So pay attention. Because when you start looking at things through his eyes, you just might be able to get him to see things through yours!
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