Ask any busy working parent what their resolutions are for the new year and they're likely to respond "spending more time with my family." It's not surprising. These days, there seems to be a heightened focus on the importance of family — from the much-used term "family values" to television personality Dr. Phil's latest book, "Family First" — making parents everywhere feel as if they have to plan more, study more and make more of an effort to be good parents as well as good spouses. But, according to Toronto-based family therapist Margery Hecht-Kugelmass, sometimes less is more.
"Break the rules," she says. "Don't do things because you feel obliged to do them, but because you want to do them." In other words, don't force a special family dinner with your mate and children because you think you should — try something spontaneous when you're in the mood. For example, Hecht-Kugelmass suggests pulling out a board game or cards if the mood strikes.
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